Relative Vampire

I am in London. My mother in law died. She was nice. Her husband's relatives are another story. Lots of excuses for not being around after her husband died 10 years ago. Lots of trying to manipulate and guilt the children with their reasons for not being there for the widow who just died. They realize they look bad. However, we realize what vampires they were. They just used my mother in law and when they realized that they had to give back, they conveniently disappeared. Mary V., the grand borderline, was the worst. She spreads rumours and gossip and gives nothing back. She ignored my mother in law in the last year when my newly enlightened mother in law confronted her over some lies that were spread. She is trying to b.s. her way out of looking like the bitch she is....but we aren't biting. We know she is a vampire!

Happy New Year and let's look to a year of ridding the vampires out of our lifes.

Brit Spears is an energy vampire. She takes and expects. She offers little. She comes first, the kids come last. It is a sad situation for them. She never had any boundaries and still doesn't understand having them. NO is not a word she is likely to ever accept from people. A lot of people in the media are like this. They are put on a pedestal, but they make horrible parents and mates. People are blinded by the fame and fortune.

Today, Energy Vampire Father (I mentioned him in an earlier rant) wrote me an email, despite the fact that I told him not to email anymore. Mr. Energy Vampire Father is the father of a little boy that I see. He brought the boy to me, hoping that I would listen to all of his craziness that he made up about his wife (who is divorcing him). I realized he was a looney tune BPD (energy vampire) and I put up strong boundaries. He was furious when I told him that telling his six year old that his mother was "divorcing us and leaving us" was not appropriate. His response was, "I don't care what you have to say, fuck you." My response was that I would not tolerate such abusive behavior. He got more abusive and I had to write him and tell him that I would not accept any more correspondence with him unless it was through another party. The mother was bringing in the kid, but Dad's email today was telling me that despite the kid's bond to me, I was not to see him anymore--mostly due to the fact that I am not on Dad's side and wanting to destroy the mother for "abandoning him." Believe me, you would have abandoned Mr. Energy Vampire Father too after years of emotional abuse. Good for her. I feel sorry for the kid.

This week has been a quiet borderline week

Due to the recent death of a client's mother, her Borderline husband has left her alone. However, he has gone out of his way to come to the rescue as much as possible, because he will most likely throw it back in her face when he is demanding sex for the zillionth time.


My friend Kathy's husband has been on a borderline tangent for awhile now. Unfortunately, he is most likely what I call, the "B and B Combo," which is Borderline and Bipolar. He has manic highs (spends $25K a month) and depression lows (feels sorry for himself and depressed). He also does the play of threats for attention and what he wants.

It is sad when they affect the kids!

Today, I spoke with the mother of a six-year-old client. She is divorcing her husband of ten years after years of emotional abuse. It was hard for her to deal with the fact that she allowed herself to be abused by him, but it was insidious abuse. It is the kind where you are made to think by the Borderline that you are crazy and that the things you thought you said, you didn't. They make you question yourself, until one day, someone comes along and shows you that you have not been losing your mind--that they experience the same shenanigans from the Borderline, but they are a therapist and they recognize the behavior for what it is.

This poor woman now has to go through a divorce with a man who is just plain toxic. He tells her friends, relatives, therapists and even their son things that are untrue about this woman and then lies to her about what he said. He tries to convince others that she has several things wrong with her and even made up a diagnosis on his own for her--Multiple Personality Disorder (Dissociative Disorder) as the explanation as to why she left him. It couldn't possibly be because he is an abusive moody bastard! It is because she has other personalities and one of them took over and made her crazy and leave him! Ya, that's the answer!

Poor woman. I have been sharing my information and the book, "Walking on Eggshells" with her. She is learning quickly that she is in a losing battle. All "logic" goes out of the door with a borderline. She has to hope that the court appointed psych evaluator is keen to the truth about the situation and doesn't fall for the husband's made up stories that sound so convincing. Her husband says he wants to get custody and he declared war on her to the point of bankrupting her and making her lose the house--and then the next day he texts her and says he loves her and can't live without her! Pure crazy making!

Who will suffer in all of this, besides her? The son! The father keeps telling a six-year-old about the divorce, despite my telling him that was not appropriate. He doesn't care what I have to say. This father was the one that hired me and had to have me be the therapist because his friend and my ex-client said that I was "the best." I told the father what I thought was needed for the son (better boundaries with what he is told and that it isn't ok to have the boy and him chatting at 3am on the phone). I was told "fuck you" by the father. If I agreed with his style of parenting, I would be his hero. If I don't agree, then fuck me. Welcome to the wacky world of Energy Vamipires.

So, that was my experience with a Energy Vamipire for today. I will try to blog more on them. I needed a break. I was drained enough this month and I had to take a break!

Today is the first day of my blog on Energy Vampires

I am a licensed psychotherapist in Southern California. It doesn't matter where you live to find people who are Energy Vampires. A friend of mine is married to an Energy Vampire. She told me that I need to help teach people about this problem. She was angry that she never knew what was wrong with her husband and she let him treat her badly for almost 30 years, making her feel like she was stupid, wrong and that everything bad was her fault. She knows differently now since we have been friends.

As a therapist, I see Energy Vampires and their Drained Souls everyday. They are EVERYWHERE. They are teaching your kids, they are taking your temperature at the doctor's office, they are the doctor, they are giving you the finger at a stop light, etc. They might not be acting like a Emotional Vampire at the very moment that you meet them, but they come out later, not like in the darkness (like Dracula), but when you least expect it. Oprah has had them on her show and no one understood their behavior and why they did the thing that they were there talking about. Even Oprah doesn't ever have a show on this problem. It is time to come out of the dark. This issue needs exposure.

Usually, I don't see Energy Vampires or Blood Suckers in my office. They might come in as part of a problem, but it only because the more rational, but the Drained Soul in the relationship is calling asking for help. Energy Vampires don't ask for help from therapists. They think all of their needs SHOULD be supplied by the Drained Soul(s) in their lives--and if they can't do it for them, then they just drain the poor souls dry of their blood and make them feel bad for not doing enough for them...........despite attempts to help the Energy Vampire.

Usually, these sad Drained Souls think that there is something wrong with them. In most cases, there are some co-dependency issues, but these people are just not well-versed in the understanding of what makes a person an Energy Vampire.

Know anyone who makes you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around them? Know anyone who treats you like you are bad, an idiot or just useless when you actually try very hard to be the opposite? Do you ever wonder why this person says you did things or says that you said things that you never did and that no matter what you do, you can't do anything right? Are you blamed for everything wrong in the relationship--even when it makes NO logical sense?

No one ever learns about this stuff in school and they should teach it. Understanding mental illness and personality disorders, which runs rampant in our society, is important for survival. Maybe more important than Chemistry class.

My goal in blogging is to explain what these people are and to create a forum for those who need to vent their frustrations over these Blood Suckers. I will set up a message board to go to and a website to help Drained Souls find a way to manage their lives in the presence of an Energy Vampire. My goal is to help the Drained Souls to get their energy and their soul back before they are sucked dry.