It is sad when they affect the kids!

Today, I spoke with the mother of a six-year-old client. She is divorcing her husband of ten years after years of emotional abuse. It was hard for her to deal with the fact that she allowed herself to be abused by him, but it was insidious abuse. It is the kind where you are made to think by the Borderline that you are crazy and that the things you thought you said, you didn't. They make you question yourself, until one day, someone comes along and shows you that you have not been losing your mind--that they experience the same shenanigans from the Borderline, but they are a therapist and they recognize the behavior for what it is.

This poor woman now has to go through a divorce with a man who is just plain toxic. He tells her friends, relatives, therapists and even their son things that are untrue about this woman and then lies to her about what he said. He tries to convince others that she has several things wrong with her and even made up a diagnosis on his own for her--Multiple Personality Disorder (Dissociative Disorder) as the explanation as to why she left him. It couldn't possibly be because he is an abusive moody bastard! It is because she has other personalities and one of them took over and made her crazy and leave him! Ya, that's the answer!

Poor woman. I have been sharing my information and the book, "Walking on Eggshells" with her. She is learning quickly that she is in a losing battle. All "logic" goes out of the door with a borderline. She has to hope that the court appointed psych evaluator is keen to the truth about the situation and doesn't fall for the husband's made up stories that sound so convincing. Her husband says he wants to get custody and he declared war on her to the point of bankrupting her and making her lose the house--and then the next day he texts her and says he loves her and can't live without her! Pure crazy making!

Who will suffer in all of this, besides her? The son! The father keeps telling a six-year-old about the divorce, despite my telling him that was not appropriate. He doesn't care what I have to say. This father was the one that hired me and had to have me be the therapist because his friend and my ex-client said that I was "the best." I told the father what I thought was needed for the son (better boundaries with what he is told and that it isn't ok to have the boy and him chatting at 3am on the phone). I was told "fuck you" by the father. If I agreed with his style of parenting, I would be his hero. If I don't agree, then fuck me. Welcome to the wacky world of Energy Vamipires.

So, that was my experience with a Energy Vamipire for today. I will try to blog more on them. I needed a break. I was drained enough this month and I had to take a break!